


Never Have I Ever

by unhoes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alcohol, Blackmail, Crack Fic, Except for pidge, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay, Klance sorta?, M/M, Memes, Never Have I Ever, Now its just, Party Games, Pidge drinks water, The others drink nunvil, everyone gets drunk, high school musical reference, this started out serious
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-20
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-17 22:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11861067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unhoes/pseuds/unhoes
Summary: The paladins of Voltron had had a rough week, so Allura decides to give them a day off. They decide to play Never Have I Ever and things get weird fast. (Part 2 is now published.)





	Never Have I Ever

The paladins of Voltron had had a rough week. Most of it consisted dog harsh training, courtesy of Allura, but there was also a galra attack. The galra decided it would be fun to attack a planet, so Voltron had to go and save the day. Thankfully, they handled the situation very well. So well, in fact, that Allura decide who give the paladins a day off.

     The paladins mostly spent their time off alone, since recently all they've been doing is spending time together. Shiro decided to catch up on some much needed rest with a nap. Hunk spent the day in the kitchen cooking up some weird but tasty concoctions made from the ingredients he had found on the last planet. Keith spent the day training, even after Allura insisted he take a break like the rest of the paladins. Pidge was playing around with her laptop, while Lance lay on the floor by her feet. He stared up at the ceiling as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

     "Hey Pidge?" Lance asked.

     "Yes, Lance?" Pidge replied, not bothering to look up from the screen in front of her.

     "I'm bored." Lance complained. Pidge sighed in annoyance.

     "Tell someone who cares." She rolled her eyes. They sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sound being Pidge's fingers dancing across the keyboard.

     "I've got it!" Lance exclaimed out of nowhere as he sat up and faced Pidge. Pidge jumped slightly.

     "What?" Pidge sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.

     "Lets gather everyone up and play never have I ever! Just like back at the garrison but less lonely!" Lance smiled.

     "Actually, that's not a bad idea... plus since we've already had the whole day to ourselves nobody can complain!" Pidge grinned.

     "Really? I thought you would've said something like 'Lance that's a dumb idea I just wanna sit on my computer all day and be anti-social!'" Lance giggled. "Wait a second... you're only doing this so you can blackmail all of us in the future aren't you?" He cocked an eyebrow.

     "You know me so well." She smirked.

     "Well, at least you're honest." Lance shrugged.

     Shortly after, the paladins, plus Allura and Coran, were all assembled on the couches.

     "So, what is this game again?" Allura questioned. Pidge quickly explained the rules.

     "Its called never have I ever. We all take turns saying something we've never done before, and if another person in the group has done that thing, then they have to take a shot. But, we don't have alcohol so-"

     "Actually, I've got some nunvil!" Coran grinned. "I'll go get it."

     "This just got even better." Pidge whispered.

     "What was that?" Hunk asked.

     "Nothing!" Pidge smiled innocently.

     "Oh no, Pidge you're too young to drink, so you'll just drink water." Shiro said sternly.

     "What? No fair!" Lance yelled.

     "Fine by me!" Pidge smirked while shrugging. Coran returned with the nunvil and a cup for everyone. Pidge grabbed her cup to go fill with water as Coran poured some nunvil for everyone. Once she returned, the game began.

     "I'll go first!" Pidge smirked evilly. "Never have I ever injured myself trying to impress someone I like." 

     "Damn it." Lance took a shot while Hunk and Pidge began giggling. The others looked both confused and amused.

     "Never have I ever been in a talent show." Hunk looked at Pidge out of the corner of his eyes. She growled then took a sip of water. Lance burst out laughing.

     "My mom forced me!" She shouted as her face became red.

     "... sure... She did!" Lance exclaimed in between his laughs. "Did you dress up like a ballerina with a pink tutu and pink ribbons in your hair while you danced across the stage?" He laughed even harder as he imagined that in his head. That was when Pidge found her target.

     "We'll see who's laughing later." She glared at Lance. Eventually Lance calmed down after gasping for his lost breath and the game continued.

     "Never have I ever ruined someone else's vacation." Shiro said. Allura, Coran, Lance, and Keith each took a shot. Allura and Coran looked at eachother, giggling at their shared memory.

     "My turn! Never have I ever been awake for two days straight." Allura smiled. Pidge, Shiro, and Keith all took a sip/shot. Keith's cheeks had already become as red as his jacket.

     "Never have I ever had someone slap me across the face." Coran stated as if he was proud of that fact. Lance and Keith both took a shot. Pidge secretly smirked. She hadn't even done anything yet and her plan was already working perfectly.

     "N-never have I ever texted for four hours straight." Keith stuttered, the nunvil quickly taking it's affect. Lance took a shot.

     "Finally! My turn!" Lance exclaimed excitedly. "Never have I ever worked at a fast food restaurant."

     "I'm not sure whether this counts or not since it was at the space mall and I was forced against my will but..." Hunk took a shot.

     "Never have I ever cradled Lance in my arms." Pidge smirked. Keith took a shot. He must really have a low alcohol tolerance, because he was pretty must wasted by now.

     "That never happened!" Lance groaned.

     "Hey, can we pause the game real quick?" Pidge asked. "Lance, Keith, could you guys go get us some chips please?"

     "Sure thing, Pigeon." Lance helped Keith stand up and walk out of the room.

     "Alright guys, mission make Klance happen is a go. We need to get Keith totally wasted, which should happen with a few more shots, then somehow get him to embarrass Lance, then get Lance drunk." Pidge explained.

     "I don't know... do you really think this is a good idea?" Hunk questioned. Pidge didn't have time to answer, because Lance and Keith came back in the room with some chips. Keith stumbled all over the place. 

     "My turn!" Hunk smiled, deciding to go along with Pidge's plan. "Never have I ever dropped out of school." Lance helped Keith sit back down. As Lance sat himself back down, Keith took another shot. Now it was Shiro's turn. "Perfect! Shiro and Keith are brother, so Shiro will know lots about Keith!" Pidge thought to herself.

     "Never have I ever got lost in Walmart." Shiro said, looking at Keith in the eyes. Keith and Pidge both took a drink and Shiro stared at Pidge.

     "Don't ask."

     "Okay then..." Shiro replied.

     "Never have I ever an emo space cowboy!" Allura gave Keith a shit-eating grin. Keith took yet another shot.

     "Laaaaance." Keith slurred. "Lancey Lance~" He sang. Lance's face lit up like fireworks on the Fourth of July. The others giggled as they watched the adorable scene unfold before them. Pidge gave Cora. The signal to commence stage three of the plan.

     "Never have I ever cried while watching the Titanic." Lance and Hunk took a shot.

     "Oh come on! How can you not cry you heartless monsters!" Lance cried dramatically.

     "Never have I ever loved Keef!" Keith giggled while attaching himself to Lance and rubbing his cheek on the Cuban boy's shoulder. "So he's a clingy drunk? That's kinda adorable..." Lance blushed and took a shot. 

     "Aww. I don't know if that's more cute or depressing." Hunk cooed.

     "R U OK?"Shiro yelled, slowly sounding out each syllable.

     "He's drunk, not stupid." Pidge rolled her eyes.

     "Moving on... never have I ever burned an ant to death with a lighter." Lance said.

     "Who wou-" Shiro was cut off by the sight of Pidge taking a sip of water. "Pidge why! Where did you even get a lighter?" 

     "Don't ask questions, Shiro." Pidge simply blinked. "Never have I ever worn lace panties." She smirked. Both Lance and Allura took a shot.

     "Lance?" Shiro asked softly.

     "Yes, Shiro?" Lance giggled, finally wasted.

     "WHY. THE. FUCK." Shiro clapped after each word he screamed. It was clear that he was tipsy.

     "I wanna be a pretty girl just like Spongebob!" Lance screeched at him like a demon from hell.

     The game continued until everyone but Pidge was drunk. Pidge took out a video camera and recorded everyone. Allura was wearing sunglasses and dancing in the middle of the room while Coran threw money at her. Shiro was crawling around the room with Lance's blue lion slippers on his hands while meowing. Hunk was having a funeral for his burnt cookies, that he forgot in the oven a while ago, complete with a gravestone that read "RIP sweet cookielines bum bum bum™" Lance was running around the room singing high school musical songs at the top of his lungs. Keith,s arms were wrapped around Lance's left ankle and his body was dragged across the floor like a corpse. 

     "Hey, Lance?" Pidge called out to him. He stopped singing and running for a minute and turned his attention to her.

     "Yee." Lance replied.

     "Do you remember the bonding moment?" Pidge asked. Lance brought his fingers to his chin and pretended to think about it and eventually snapped his fingers.

     "Oh! You mean Keith cradling me in his arms? Yeah I remember that! It was the best moment of my life!" He giggled and ran off to continue his imaginary broadway show featuring Keith.

     "Yep... this is perfect blackmail."


End file.
